As an author and a speaker, I am often called upon to talk about networking — like there’s a big secret to how it’s done.  It’s actually quite simple.  Networking is not about getting out and meeting people. Networking is about what you do after you meet people, the follow-through and keeping in touch.

Speaker, author and Help A Reporter creator Peter Shankman likes to tell the story of Paramount Pictures executive Barry Diller. Barry used to go through his Rolodex every day and call 10 different filmmakers and others, just to touch base and find out what they were working on and how they were doing. These filmmakers and others often thought of Barry first when they had a hot project. Many credit the huge success of Paramount Pictures during this time to Barry’s daily calls.

You may not be Barry Diller, but there is no reason you can’t do the same thing he did. Successful relationships, business or personal, take time and nurturing.

Here are just a few things that should be a part of your networking repertoire:

• Write a personal note after an in-person meeting – either to say thank you or a simple, “It was nice to meet you (or see you).” An email is fine, but a handwritten note stands out more.
• On Facebook? Check each morning to see who is having a birthday and leave a message on their wall or actually make a personal call.
• See an article or blog post that makes you think of someone? Copy the URL and send it to that person with a note: “This made me think of you.” We ALL like to know others are thinking about us.
• ALWAYS write a thank-you   note when anyone does something nice for you – an introduction, a client lead, free tickets to something, a meal, whatever.  If you are doing things right, you should be writing at least five thank-you notes a week — if not more.
• Did you talk about a specific thing or information the other person needed that you had?  Follow through with that promised information or item within 48 hours, even if it’s just to say you are still gathering the information.
• Go through your network – your address book, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter – and touch base with several people each day. This keeps you top of mind just like the aforementioned Mr. Diller.

Here’s a recent example of how I work.  Earlier this week, a local food critic invited me to join her at one of Houston’s newest restaurants.  Management wined and dined us thoroughly. (It’s always nice to go to a restaurant with a food critic).  I followed up with a thank-you note and a copy of my book to the restaurant manager. The food critic and I had talked about my husband’s new novel, so she got a thank-you note and a copy of the book, Specific Impulse.  I posted the pictures of the food and information on the new restaurant on Facebook, with links to the establishment and the chef.  Not to mention, I’ll be back – the food was amazing!

Networking is not for sissies. It takes work and it takes work on a regular, daily basis. Who have you networked with today?

*Originally posted on The Vollmer Voice from Vollmer Public Relations.

My iPhone died. I never saw it coming. One minute it was fine and the next – the black screen of death. No amount of begging, pleading or wishing would bring it back last night.

All night I tossed and turned worrying about my life line. What would I do? How would i get anything done? How would anyone reach me?  I had an early flight for a speech so the Apple store was out of the question. I left it behind with Charlie the Wonder Husband to try to work his techie magic.

I felt strangely light leaving the house, as if a tether had been released. On the way to the airport I probably paid more attention to the road and cars around me than I have in a long, long time. Standing in line to check a bag and books, I had to entertain myself by watching people and actually engaging in pleasant conversations with other humans in the line. We smiled, we talked, we laughed. And, there was one less thing to worry about in the security line. Once at the gate, I was able to email on the iPad (and write this blog), letting people know here I was and how best to communicate with me until the crisis is solved.

Crisis? Is that the correct word? I don’t think so. I haven’t talked much for hours, I’ve had a ball people watching, I’m oddly relaxed and I have been extremely productive this morning.

I do want my phone back. Eventually.

However, I think I’ll start leaving it behind occasionally. I’ve realized I don’t need it as bad as I thought.

Oh and you can always email me at dayna@daynasteele.com, get me on Twitter @daynasteele or leave a message on Facebook. It’s not like I am that disconnected….

PS:  Got the phone back before I had a chance to post this. Apparently when you have 76 apps open, it will shut down your iPhone. Oh.

Why does everyone insist on using the phrase “sex, drugs and rock and roll?”  To me, it has always been “sensibility, determination and rock and roll.”

I spent years around some of the most successful rock stars, producers, record company and star management personnel.  The ones who were wildly successful (many of whom continue to be so today), all practiced the same basic principles:

• They gave their customers what they wanted, they fed the fans’ passions
• They kept up with trends, the world around them and technology
• They created and nurtured successful and productive business relationships every where
• And, they always thanked/rewarded the people who got them there as well as giving back to the fans and communities

These are the fundamental four rock star principles of a successful person.  You’ll find examples of each of these principles in things that Mick Jagger does as well as Bill Gates and Warren Buffett.

Passion, knowledge, networking and appreciation along with hard work and a strong work ethic will take you to the top of the charts each and every time.

Okay. I’ll admit it, we did have some fun along the way, but didn’t you?

Never underestimate the power of the smile in customer service. Not that I encourage this but you can almost get away with a mediocre product, service, meal, anything – when it is served with a smile.

My birthday request was simple this year, especially after renting a castle in England last year. All I asked for was that Charlie the Wonder Husband and the boys do their version of dressed up and take me to a local upscale steakhouse. They rummaged through the bottom of their closets, found a clean pair of socks and a collared shirt and off we went.

“A smile is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it.”  –Author Unknown

Love my husband, teenager tried his best to be pleasant, 10 year old was ok once he found out they had chicken nuggets and the food was amazing, but our server never smiled. OK. She smiled once, after we had written in the tip and handed the bill back to her. Not good timing on her part.

Not sure if she was training, tired, didn’t feel well or just disliked her job, whatever the reason, she never smiled. The waiter next to us smiled and had quite the personality with his table. I felt deprived.

“People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.”  –Lee Mildon

For almost 22 years I played either Freebird or Stairway to Heaven every day, read the same weather forecast, observed “Two for Tuesday,” served “Electric Lunch” and tried to make people happy on the request line, which I actually answered.

It didn’t matter how I felt, whether or not I was sick or if I had overachieved the night before, I had to be happy to be there and 99% of the time, I was! There were those days however where I just wanted to be left alone but I continued to deliver the best show I could with a smile on my face.

“Smile – It’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.” –Author Unknown

Smile today. Smile all day. Smile at everyone you meet. You’ll be amazed how much bigger the tip gets in whatever you do today.

There’s a story on CNN.com today about internships –  not for college students, but for workers 50 and over. Brilliant. Why should it be any different for anyone, age or otherwise?  It all comes down to networking, finding a way to get your foot in the door, then working hard and proving the company needs you, showing your value.

I’ve heard several ‘older’ workers lately lamenting the lack of jobs, worrying about their futures.  However, when I ask the questions below, the answers are usually the same – no.  Didn’t have time. Been meaning to do that. Planned to do that next week.

Need a job? Need to change jobs? Looking to advance where you are?

Ask yourself these questions:

Do you have a mentor?
Do you have a specific goal?
Have you called anyone to make contact today and offered them something instead of just asking for something?
Have you followed up with at least one person you met this week – with a call, a note, info you promised?
Have you gone to an event this week and met new people, networked new relationships?
Have you asked for what you need?

That’s what these ‘older’ workers are doing in the CNN story. Making the call, asking for the internship, learning something new with a mentor, networking and finding a way to keep working. Hustle folks, hustle.

And, answer the questions with ‘yes.’

How do I get a record deal, how do I get into the music business, how do I get a radio station to play my songs? I am always surprised how often I am still asked those questions, even though I have been out of music radio and the music business since my 14 year old son was born. Yet, I still get the question almost weekly from friends, neighbors, on my Facebook page, etc.

Here’s the answer I gave an aspiring rapper (how do these people find me) yesterday:

• Take advantage of social media – Facebook and Twitter – and make it easy for fans sign on to follow you
• Post the song occasionally and other songs
• Create a website
• Do a hot or funny video for YouTube
• Create a t-shirt and sell it on Cafe Press
• Use every method you can to get your music and name out there
• If the stuff is good, it will start to spread and the record companies will take notice
• Always better if the record companies and radio stations come to you!
• Work it every day
• Network, 24/7, what can you do for them?

Tony Shelton, crisis communication expert and good friend, sums it up best with his three questions he always asks clients:

• What do you want?
• Who can give it to you?
• And most important of all, why should they?

Whether you want to be a rap star or a business star, it all works the same.

Thanks to all the Steeleworkers who took the time to vote in this year’s Texas Radio Hall of Fame process.  Thanks to you, I am now officially a “Hall of Famer.”  I will be inducted this fall with such incredible personalities and am humbled by it all.

The late great Marty Ambrose, Houston’s first traffic reporter.  The bigger-than-life Bill Moffett who voiced the top-the-of-the hour IDs for KLOL, concerts and more. And, last but never least, the legendary Crash Collins.

As a student at Dulles High School in Stafford, Texas, you were no one if you didn’t listen to Crash on KLOL.  And if you missed the nights he passed out and let the record skip for hours, you never let on you missed it.  Long before I even thought about going into radio, I had a huge crush on Crash. He was the coolest guy ever.

Crash has gone on to become a very successful business man, loving husband and great Dad.  And one of my dearest friends in the world.  Congrats to all.  This is going to be one helluva party come this fall.

As my vacation came to a close last week, my brother-in-law stated, “You always get your way. How do you do that?”  I had just returned from taking the kids to get a ‘gut buster chocolate sundae’ at the resort ice cream shop where we were given a triple sized gut buster for the same price as a regular size…with extra whipped cream no less.

Add to that, earlier in the week, the resort had told same said brother-in-law that the umbrellas and chairs he could see 30 yards down the beach were only available to those paying for the lesser expensive beach condos.

That didn’t make sense to me, so I called and talked to the head of the recreation department, the ‘keepers’ of the so-desired umbrellas and chairs.   By noon that day, we had two large umbrellas and four comfy beach chairs….at no additional charge.

So why did the resort personnel change the policy, deliver the items and do so at no charge?  It really is quite simple – I treat everyone I meet, whether it’s on the phone or in person, as a good friend.

How would you talk to a good friend?  How would you ask a friend the same question?  How do you ask people for the things you need?

That now brings me to the triple sized sundae.  How did we get that?  Why my good friend John was serving behind the counter.  Thanks John!

When is the last time you wrote a thank you note? Not an email, tweet, post, DM, etc. – a real, honest to goodness handwritten note that involved a piece of paper, an envelope, a stamp and physical address?

None of us get through our daily lives and business without help from someone. A lead, a gift, an invitation, information. Something. Someone along the way has helped you and you need to thank them. And the most powerful tool you have is the ability to write a handwritten thank you note. Everyone likes to be appreciated, at any level of business. A handwritten thank you note will make you memorable. It will make you stand out from the crowd.

Simply keep a supply of stamps and a box of note cards on your desk. At the end of each day, think “who helped me out today” and write that note.

If you haven’t written a note to someone and dropped it in the mail in the last week or so, you are doing something wrong. Or you are a hermit.

When is the last time you tried something new?  Something out of your comfort zone?  Something that might not work but you tried it anyway?

I put a friend on the spot the other night at my husband’s retirement party – sort of blindsided her when I asked her to come up and join the roast to say a few words.  Strange as it may seem to some, this friend is my husband’s first wife.  We are good friends and I felt it was important that she be a part of such a big celebration.  And, of course, I knew she would have GREAT roast material.

And she did.  And she was great.

I got a text from her the day after the event – “You always push me out of my comfort zone…just one of the reasons that I love you.”

Trying new things, leaving your comfort zone, is like learning to drive a car.  It’s scary but you know you have to do it to reach the end result – transportation.  The first several times you do it, it’s terrifying.   You may hit a few curbs.  You may scare the heck out of yourself (and others.)  However, for the most part, you learn from your mistakes and get better each day.  Eventually, you don’t even think about it when you get in the car to drive off to work.  And if you do have an accident, you learn from that mistake and, more often than not, don’t do it again.

What will you do today?  Will you leave your comfort zone today?