Why does everyone insist on using the phrase “sex, drugs and rock and roll?”  To me, it has always been “sensibility, determination and rock and roll.”

I spent years around some of the most successful rock stars, producers, record company and star management personnel.  The ones who were wildly successful (many of whom continue to be so today), all practiced the same basic principles:

• They gave their customers what they wanted, they fed the fans’ passions
• They kept up with trends, the world around them and technology
• They created and nurtured successful and productive business relationships every where
• And, they always thanked/rewarded the people who got them there as well as giving back to the fans and communities

These are the fundamental four rock star principles of a successful person.  You’ll find examples of each of these principles in things that Mick Jagger does as well as Bill Gates and Warren Buffett.

Passion, knowledge, networking and appreciation along with hard work and a strong work ethic will take you to the top of the charts each and every time.

Okay. I’ll admit it, we did have some fun along the way, but didn’t you?

Kill’em with kindness.  You get more flies with honey.  Engage the customer.

All strange things to be thinking while sitting stage side in the Hustler Club on Bourbon Street in New Orleans but that’s how I think. The first five dancers to hit the main stage starred at a spot on the wall, never smiled and went through the motions to do their routine. Then a dancer smiled and made a little effort to actually look at the audience. A few more dollar bills started to magically drop on the stage. Then SHE came out. SHE hit the stage with a huge smile looking directly at her audience. SHE went straight to the people and engaged them. Smiling, talking “Hey, where y’all from?” The dollar bills were flying fast and furious and SHE hadn’t even hit the pole yet. SHE had the audience in the palm of her hand until her money bag was full. SHE gave the customers what they had been looking for all night. A smile, welcoming conversation and eye contact. That’s all it took.

Which now poses the question – why was I in the Hustler Club on Bourbon Street in New Orleans? Isn’t the saying “what happens in New Orleans stays in New Orleans”? Well, it should be.

Gene Simmons of KISS was asked a few years ago what was the one thing he attributed his success to?  He said, without hesitation,  ”I read everything I can get my hands on.”

I loved that answer.  I am who I am and I do what I do because I read and I’ve never stopped learning.

Early on, I devoured the entire Nancy Drew series.  From that, I believe I learned to research and solve.

A friend of my grandmother’s, Mrs. DePhillipi, traveled the world and brought me several books.  From those books, I traveled the world without ever leaving 6738 Hendon in Houston, Texas.

In high school, because I actually read the curriculum requirements, I figured out I could graduate early and head off to college at 16.  In my teens, I had a college ID, an apartment and a boyfriend in a band.  Because I read, life was good.

In college, I discovered my passion for radio.  And, I’ve always said that I really didn’t play Stairway to Heaven or Freebird any different than anyone else and I gave the same weather forecast.  What I did do that was different was read and continue to learn.  And because I read, I always had something to talk about.  I also recognized opportunities to grow my name which was my “brand”.  I was successful in Houston radio for over 20 years. Because I read, I was paid (handsomely) to play music and hang out. I read the industry trade papers and learned how to network with the right people to succeed.

In the 90’s, I began to read and learn about this new thing they called email and the Internet eventually starting my own e-commerce operation.  I sold The Space Store for a half a million dollars in 2000, the same month Newsweek declared the dot.com boom dead.  I apparently ‘didn’t get the memo.’

To this day, I read and continue to learn.  I wrote a book to pass on what I had already read and learned.  That created a successful motivational speaking career.

I began to read and learn about Social Media a couple of years ago.   I now get paid to hang out on Facebook and Twitter and teach others how to use social media.  This is a good job.

Ahh but, the times, to quote an old rock star, they are a changin’.

I still read and learn.  But differently.

I said I could never give up my newspaper and cup of coffee in the mornings.  The cup of coffee remains but the newspapers were replaced long ago by apps on my phone for CNN, the Houston Chronicle, AP Newswire, local TV and more.

Then I said I could never trade the feel of a real book in for a Kindle.  We now have two Kindles in the house and I may have to buy a third if no one learns to share.

The future?  Apparently I’m getting an iPad for Mother’s Day to put on the coffee table with all our favorite magazines, newspapers, photos and books loaded onto it.

All along the way, from Nancy Drew to the latest Apple gadget, I have continued to read and learn.

Reading has rocked my world.  Daily.

How about your world?

Read and rock on!

Another deserving family will receive a new home and be featured this Sunday on ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.  This particular build happened close by and I was able to drop by a few days in a row and watch the process.  It really is quite amazing to watch it all happen in just about 104 hours from beginning to end.  And we’re talking an almost 6000 square foot house here!

Dozens of stories and blogs have been written about EM:HE, the family and the stars of the show.  However, I am writing today about the real rock star of the entire show.  The plan.  As with any successful business, individual, music tour or television show – there is a plan.  Success does not just happen.  One does not just get lucky.  Lady Gaga does not wake up each day and decide what city to play that night.

EM:HE advance teams hit our area in late 2009 once a family had been chosen.  Meetings were held and plans were made between the show, city officials, suppliers and more.  Again, when you have to build a house that big in less than 5 days, there must be a plan and a good one at that.  *Not to mention that EM:HE usually has two builds going on at the same time in different parts of the country.

When you are organized and have a plan, you are better prepared for the expected and the unexpected.  I am probably safe to assume that the show producers thought it would be best to build in the Houston area in the winter.  Our weather is usually mild and dry compared to the rest of the country around this time of year.  For this build?  The Houston area had record breaking low temperatures and snow.  At one point, they had to wait for a section of the roof to thaw before it could be lifted and put in place.  Frozen roofs do not happen often in Kemah Texas.  Hurricanes yes.  Frozen roofs no.

Blu Shields, the builder for the Kemah home, gave me ten minutes of his precious time during the build to answer a few questions.  Shields is known for building affordable, energy efficient homes in our area in amazingly short times (30-45 days).  I asked him what the one thing was that made this build possible.  “Time and materials management,” he replied, without hesitation.  “There is no reason other builders can’t do this.  It’s all in the planning.  The reason they don’t is because the longer they take, the more they can charge.”

Take the time to have a plan, an idea of what you are doing and how you are going to do it, the help you will need and the supplies it will take.  EM:HE does it.  I do it.  Now you do it.

Episode #719 will air on ABC at 7:00 p.m. CST on Easter Sunday, April 4

Spring Break has come and gone along with a few dollars out of my wallet.  Charlie the Wonder Husband and I packed up the boys and headed to San Francisco last week.  While Daddy worked, the boys and I hit every San Francisco landmark we could – Golden Gate Bridge, Sausalito, Coit Tower, Muir Forest, Chinatown, Ghirardelli Chocolates – you name it – we saw it, drove it or ate it.

The highlight?  At least for the boys?  A trip to the offices of their favorite online game, Roblox.  Dack, 14, had actually been to the offices a year ago and was looking forward to talking again to fellow gamers at this fast-growing Silicon Valley start-up.  Both he and his brother (Nick, 10) love to play the game and would spend hours on it daily if there weren’t some screen limits in our house!

We were ushered into a sparsely furnished conference room (again, keyword here ‘start-up”) to spend a few minutes with Community Manager Reese and were shortly after that joined by John Shedletsky, a programmer with Roblox.  John and Reese were familiar faces having been the employees who spent time with Dack the first time around.

I believe we were all a little surprised when, after a few pleasantries, Dack whipped out his cell phone and proceeded to open up a list of questions, suggestions and comments about the game.  Reese and John both started taking notes and shortly thereafter, we were joined by the CEO David Baszucki, also known as BuilderMan on the game.  (Kind of like Mick Jagger to my kids…)  Even he commented on how prepared Dack was, saying “we (Roblox) interview graduates from some of the top universities for programmer positions and I am always surprised when one of them hasn’t bothered to play the game or learn anything about it.  Dack, you are light years ahead of these guys.”

When asked why he did it, Dack replied, “I wanted to make sure I got my questions answered and be professional.  I also wanted to avoid the awkward silences like the last time and get the most out of the time I had with anyone at Roblox.”

As a parent, I can’t recommend the game enough.   (www.roblox.com)

As Dack’s Mom, I am extremely proud of his maturity and planning.

As a businesswoman, I’d hire that kid!

As long as the work gets done, gets done in a timely manner, is quality work and keeps the ledgers on the profit side – do you care where your employees are or when they work?  If so, why?

Despite the fact you really couldn’t call what I do “playing golf,”  it is what I set out to do with a long time girlfriend yesterday. A quick nine holes to catch up on the last twenty years or so.  I have a golf bag filled with clubs I have no idea how to use, plenty of balls to donate up to the lake gods and my entire productivity suite with me – my iPhone.   In between fishing balls out of the lake and wandering through the high grass, I could check email, tweet on Twitter, post and comment on Facebook, link up on LinkedIn and answer to all the needs of my clients and family.

Except one.  So, I picked up the phone and called Allen Caudle, COO of Vollmer Public Relations, my biggest and ‘bestest’ client.  Explaining that “my hands are freezing on the golf course and I can’t type that many letters right now,” I responded to his query verbally (what a concept.)  He laughed, we discussed his question and decided a course of action, and I went off to hit more balls in the water with a satisfied client back at the office.

Heading home from the course, I called my managing partner to see how speech bookings were coming for the next couple of months (fine, thank you for asking.)  It was obvious she was outside and not somewhere quiet.  ”I’m at the zoo. I needed to see the seals.”  I told her I would call back or email later.

As I hung up, that exchange made me smile and laugh.  Sometimes you just need to see the seals or find your golf ball. Clear your mind, smile and laugh, relax a little – and then go back to the grind.  We’re all better for it.

So, I repeat my initial question – as long as the work gets done, gets done in a timely manner, is quality work and keeps the ledgers on the profit side – why do you care where your employees work or when they work just so long as they work?

When is the last time you sent your employees to the zoo?

I am in St.Paul, MN the next few days giving a series of keynote speeches at the River Centre for the MLT Vacations conference.  They’ve put me up at a lovely historic hotel, The Saint Paul.  As with any chi-chi hotel, you need to take out a small loan for breakfast.  So, headed out to find a diner, breakfast place, something that wouldn’t cost my entire per diem for a couple of huevos.

There enters the Q Kindness Café.  A wonderful find.  A diner with great prices, a good strong cup‘o’joe and every day lessons in paying it forward.  Lots of signs and sayings encouraging kindness.  Nice people greeting you and bringing you above said breakfast.  And encouragement to do something nice right then and there.

As we left, there was a young teen waiting to pay for a bag of snacks behind us.  How could I resist?  The Q Kindness Café suggests customers pay for the next guest – a cup of coffee, their entire breakfast; just do something to pay it forward.  So, I asked the young man if that was all he was getting, that I would pay for it.  What a wonderful smile he had.  “Really, you are buying this for me?”  “Yes I am and a drink too, go get one.”  For a second, he looked like he was even considering hugging this strange foreigner at the cash register with the Texas accent.  Instead he just grinned and said “Mam, you have made my day.”

Well, you made mine too.  Thank you Q Kindness Café.

So what are YOU doing to pay it forward today?

We’ve got a week of school under our belts and everyone seems to be reasonably happy with teachers, classes and the homework schedule.  It is interesting to me to see which schools/principals/teachers are utilizing email and social media and which ones still aren’t sure how to turn a computer on.  When you think about it, that’s really kind of scary that these are the people in charge of educating our kids.

It is hard to complain though when the thought of home schooling can send me running for cover in a closet.  So, “Dear School Administrators” don’t think of this as a complaint but rather as free consulting and advice that executives and corporations usually pay me large amounts of money for – here is a list of classes administrators should consider adding  to curriculums everywhere:

• Proper Writing This is so much more important than ‘teaching to the test” every year.  High school seniors and college students are quickly losing the ability to write, spell and use punctuation properly.  These skills effect how others, including employers, think of you.  LOL ain’t gonna cut it dude.
• Finance Only spend what you have and credit cards are evil.  Don’t go into debt and learn to save your money and pay cash for things.  I highly recommend Dave Ramsey’s The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness as the text book for this class.  We all need to learn that instant gratification (i.e. “no money down”) is not a right.
• Ethics You know right from wrong.  The stories of Bernie Madoff, Enron and Stanford Financial would make good case studies for this class.  That along with a field trip to a federal prison would be a lovely lesson.
• Social Media This class would also be required for school district administrators and all teachers.  There has been a fundamental shift in the way we communicate all over the world.  You must know how it works and learn to utilize it in many forms.  It is how your students communicate.  Watch the Socialnomics video.  Most school districts are blocking teachers and employees from sites such as Facebook and Twitter.  Wake up!  You can’t control the information anymore.  Resistance is futile.  I highly recommend you hire @skydiver on Twitter to create the curriculum for this class.  And you definitely can’t control him….
• Charity Call it what you will but karma is a very powerful force in life and in business.  One of the most important things you can do is to do something for another without expecting anything in return.  That’s when it all comes back to you. That’s karma.  As a part of this class, each high school student would be required to spend at least one summer in an Outward Bound or other charity program helping others.
• Cell Phone Etiquette I don’t care what you did last night and who you did it with.  Or where.  Or when you plan to do it again.  In addition, when you are driving, I’d just as soon you put that mobile phone in the trunk.  YouTube says this video is too graphic for anyone under 18.  I say make it required at least once a week in this class for anyone with a drivers license – student or teacher or parent.
• Discipline This would be a joint class between all age students and their parents.  Should either fail, both groups would be required to take the class together until an acceptable grade or level of discipline was achieved by all ages.
• Manners See Discipline.  Same applies.
• Networking Otherwise known as “Getting Along With Others 101.”  Students would learn to listen to what others were saying and actually pay attention to it.  They would also be taught not to send mass emails and pull out a business card everywhere they go.  The ultimate goal of this class would be to teach the importance of true relationships with other humans, whether personal or business.
• Current Events This class would be required prior to taking Networking.  You must know what is going on the world, in everything, in order to succeed.  And when you have a clue what is going on in the world around you, it makes you a much more interesting person to be around and people will have a tendency to ‘network’ with you.  No one wants to hang out with a tree stump.

Just the mere thought of going back to school is enough to make me do my best to adhere to these principles each and every day.  And as for you school administrators who need some help turning on your computer, I can be reached at dayna@daynasteele.com or on Twitter @daynasteele.

Four hours down and six to go on the airplane for my 50^th birthday tour of Great Britain and Paris.  I am assuming if I turned 50 overseas, it might not possibly count back home…

When we got on the plane today, I was surprised at the lack of friendly service on Continental Airlines.  Now, I’m used to that in coach but we splurged and flew everyone on this trip in First Class.  Not travel bank points but good old fashioned hard earned cash.  The trip over the pond was great – excellent service and smiles all around.  Something I actually expect no matter what I’ve paid for a plane ticket.  But not on the way back.  The First Class cabin crew looked like they had been beaten soundly and were going to pass on those warm and fuzzy feelings to all.  Added to that, they purposely took everyone’s orders and then asked my children what they wanted like it was a horrible burden.  One attendant in particular was extremely mean to my 9 year old.  Now if they had been rowdy and rude I’d understand but all three of my kids were quietly watching their TV screens and waiting patiently for any sort of attention from the attendants.

With that said, I started to think about the trip as a whole.  All and all it’s been a trip for the memory books  – for me, Charlie the Wonder Husband and the three boys.  But, with any trip, there have been some amazing highs and a few lows.  Most coming down to a passion of mine.  Customer service.

When I owned The Space Store, the first thing I told new employees was that the three most important things they should always remember in their new job were:

1. Customer service
2. Customer service and …
3. Customer service

It doesn’t matter how big or small, whether someone paid for first class or coach – a customer is still a customer.  And in this economy, a customer should be treated like gold more than ever.   So, I thought I would take the time between loads of trip laundry to finish this blog and point out those who did it right and those who did it terribly wrong….

And the winners are:

• Augill Castle (www.stayinacastle.com)  This house, built in the 1800’s to resemble a medieval castle, had something for the entire family.  Everything the websiteoffered was there including the wonderful, overfriendly Labrador.  If a castle could hug you, this one did.  The family proprietors were friendly and most accommodating.  The answer to everything was “sure, no problem.”  The kids, residents and guests,  were in and out of the house, played hide and seek all over the grounds and tortured the kitchen staff multiple times each evening for popcorn while watching a huge selection of movies in the drawing room.  This in turn, produced extremely relaxed parents with like minded individuals from around the world sharing a delicious home cooked gourmet meal around a communal table, a fully stocked ‘honor’ bar and a strong wireless signal in the conservatory.  I wanted to feel like a queen on my birthday and I did.
• Hilton Euston London (www.hilton.co.uk/euston) The concierge not only recommended a great Indian restaurant nearby but walked us almost all the way there so we wouldn’t get lost.  We returned with an order of Tandoori Chicken for him.  And Lorraine, the front desk supervisor, called our last night to make sure the Internet had worked ok and to let us know she would take it off the bill so we wouldn’t have to explain at checkout that it was supposed to be comped.
• Hilton Tower Bridge (www.Hilton.com/TowerBridge)  The only Hilton Hotel on this trip that actually went out of their way to honor our status as HHonors Diamond VIPs with a dedicated floor and private lounge offering free internet access, food, drinks, newspapers – all the things a top repeat hotel customer expects.  *Do note – there is no valet parking and no where to park a car.  This little fact is not mentioned on their website or in your reservation confirmation.  And Hilton, what’s the point of HHonors Diamond VIP if most hotels do nothing to honor it??
• Derroch Learg (www.darrochlearg.co.uk/)  This small luxury guest house overlooking the massive acreage of Balmoral Castle (where Queen Elizabeth was in residence at the time) took us in at the last minute.  Equipped with another great Labrador, they were quite friendly, took the time to show us how to climb to the top of Craigendarroch and never acted upset as we insisted on calling owners Nigel and Fiona – Fiona and Shrek.

Losers with a capital L:

• Edinburgh Caledonian Hilton (www.hilton.co.uk/caledonian)  Considered to be one of the most famous hotels in the world, our experience started at the front desk.  As a top Hilton customer, we were due an upgrade which was available but the front desk was holding on to tightly.  After quietly but firmly standing our ground, we saw why.  All that was available to upgrade us to was The Caledonian Suite.  It was a huge 5-room suite overlooking the Edinburgh Castle.  An excellent location to watch the fireworks but it still left a bad taste in your mouth when you had to fight for it.   We had to pay for Internet access, the AC was broken and when we tried to put the windows down at night for some peace and quiet (quite a few trendy bars down the street), they were broken and would not close.  Despite numerous calls to the front desk, help was nowhere to be found.
• Warwick Hilton (www.Hilton.com/Warwick )  As  HHonors Diamond VIP we were offered a choice of free newspapers.  What?  Of course, since they were charging for internet access and the business center, I guess that was the only way we were going to find our headlines.
• Kildrummy Castle Hotel (www.kildrummycastle.com)   This gorgeous hotel and fairy tale location is wasted on owners who don’t have the first idea of what makes a guest comfortable.  From the moment we walked in, it was a strange and unpleasant experience.    There was no one at what appeared to be a small reception desk.  We had to go looking for someone to help us and were met with a very stern “What do you want?” (I swear it was Frau Blucher from Young Frankenstein – I could almost hear the horses neigh in the distance).  The hotel is very cold, in temperature and in soul.  One afternoon, with kids off with friends, we wanted to go have a small, romantic lunch somewhere nearby.  When asked if there was anything around, the manager flatly said “no”.  We went looking anyway.  Only a mile down the road was a charming café and garden center with a warm building and warm people to greet us.  When she discovered where we were staying, the proprietress said “is it as bad as other guests have said?”  Don’t believe the awards, most were from the previous owner’s time.
• Continental Airlines (www.continental.com) Since I only plan to turn 50 once, this was a big splurge for the family.  The treatment on the way back was probably one of the worst ways to end a trip.  Just confirms why I usually fly Southwest Airlines.  They get it.

It is interesting to note that the two most expensive and highest rated hotels as well as first class on a major airline were actually the worst experiences of the trip.   It is a pattern that is starting to pop up in industries across the board.  It’s the reason banks are failing and GM is hanging on for dear life.  Companies have gotten so big and believed their own press for so long, they have forgotten the basic, most important principle of longevity and success for any business.  Honest, good customer service. It just goes to show that even if you have a good quality product, if you don’t back it up with excellent and over the top customer service, you will eventually lose.  There are no exceptions.

By the way, the phrase “the customer is always right” is attributed to Harry Gordon Selfridge (1857-1947) the founder of London’s Selfridges store (opened in 1909).  It still holds as true today as it did then.

So decrees Queen Dayna in this year of 2009.

Lots of emails, calls, blog posts.  Are you going to write something about Michael Jackson?  Did you know him?  Did you ever meet him?  Did you work with him?  What do you think about all that has happened?  

I’ve already written about Michael Jackson in my book and it has nothing to do with anything leading up to his death.  There is nothing for me to say other than a great talent has been lost.

Then, after I posted a link to his last rehearsal footage and made the comment that we had missed out on what would have been an amazing live show, this question was posted on my Facebook page – “Out of all the shows you’ve seen in your days in the entertainment field, who would you say put on the best show? Or to make it easier, the top five. “  This was a question that was easier to answer.  Much easier.  And Michael is most definitely on that list.

My list is probably a little different than most people would have expected for a 20+ rock radio veteran.  So, here it is in no particular order:

• Prince – I first saw him perform at Flippers in Los Angeles.  I don’t even think I was old enough to be in the club and had to be snuck in by his record company personnel and manager.  I had never seen such raw sexuality in a performance and such unabandoned passion with a guitar.  I love to watch this man perform live.  I think his performance and talent were completely lost on a Super Bowl audience.  He’s definitely not a chips and dips kinda guy.
• Lyle Lovett – I swear I would run off with this man. I sent him a note once simply addressed to “Lyle Lovett, (his town), TX” and I’ll be damned if the US Post Office didn’t deliver it.  It was a note letting him know how much I admired his talent and recent performance at the Woodlands Pavilion.  Don’t ask me why I felt compelled to write a note, you would never understand why I think he is one of the sexiest men alive on the planet today.  Within a couple of days he had left me a message on what a fan he had been on mine while I was on the radio and left a phone number.  You would have thought I was 12 years old and David Cassidy had called me.  I called him back, left some long, rambling, stalker type message and never heard from him again.  I’ll go see him every chance I get but I think he’s still scared of me.
• ZZ Top – First it’s the hometown connection and then it’s just the great showmanship and the music from the earlier days, when there was more blues to it and less circus.  There are lots of memories of shows, interviews, hanging out – all in the early 80’s in Houston.  Their music brings up the feelings of why I got into rock and roll in the first place.  It was a magical time.
• Crosby & Nash – Their first performance together, a surprise on stage at Rockefeller’s in Houston, when David had just gotten out of prison.  It still sends chills down my spine when I hear To the Last Whale.  There was great anticipation throughout the first half of the show, a Graham Nash solo concert,  that Crosby might be in the house and make an appearance.  Their manager, Bill Siddons, and I sat a table knowing what was to come.  However, we could never have predicted the raw emotion that came with the performance.  Graham came back after a short intermission, sang a song of two and then the lights went out.  Within a minute or so, a recording of To the Last Whale began to play through the speakers, as the lights faded slowly back up, there stood Graham and David singing in perfect harmony with tears streaming down their faces. 
• And…hands down, the best ever, Michael Jackson.  I’ve only seen him once live, it was during the Bad tour at The Summit in Houston in April of 1988.  It didn’t hurt that I was a part of the entourage from his hotel for a couple of the nights they were in town as a guest of his manager Frank Dileo.  It was surreal and fascinating to take a peek inside his world and spend a few hours there.  The body guards, the decoy vans, the freeway closed, the hotel floors blocked, etc.  I’d seen this before with other rock stars but not even close to this level.  And the other rock stars could not come close to his level of performance either.  It was a memorizing, intoxicating, exhilarating and exhausting show. 

It’s just a list, and taking a recent look at that post on my Facebook page, there are a lot of others who have an all time top five.  A five that left a lasting impression.

What do we take from all of this – from the lists on my Facebook page and from the recent news? 

Don’t conform.  Do your thing.  Follow your passion.  Let your talent shine.  Have fun.   Give people their money’s worth.  Create a quality, memorable product or service.  Learn from mistakes and critiques.  Don’t surround yourself with ‘yes’ people.  Drugs are bad – prescription or otherwise.  Take care of your mind and body.  And push yourself to heights you never though you could achieve.  In the words of KISS’ Gene Simmons, remember that life is too short to not have anything but delusional notions about yourself. 

Hold for applause.  And fade out…..